Opening
of The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer
The
opening of this book is before her friends died. It is her best
friends birthday and Mara and her two best friends are sitting round
a fortune teller board in the dark with candles lit. It is a very
spiritual scene as they are sitting in darkness with no light but a
few candles, when Claire, one of Mara's friends asks the board “How
will Rachel die?” The board starts to spell out letters. The first
letter is 'M' then 'A' then 'R'. The girls never found out the last
word as Mara got scared and made them put it away. Mara's two friends
try to guess what the board was trying to spell out going through all
different sort of deaths that start with 'mar' but the girls never
once guessed that the board was spelling out 'mara'. The opening
leaves the book on a cliffhanger after that scene and Mara wakes up
in hospital only to find out that her two best friends and her
boyfriend have died in an accident that involved her but she has no
recollection how they died. I think it is a very good opening scene
as it makes the reader guess what the board was saying how Rachel
would die, the book doesn't actually say it was Mara who killed them
until the end though.
Start
Of Opening
Noah's
hand let go of the book he was once holding. The book clattered to
the floor with a thump, followed by slight muffles of creased paper
fanning over on top of one another as the book slowly closed shut.
Noah knew what was coming. He knew the feeling that was coming. He
knew the fear that was coming. But. He didn't know who was coming. It
was happening again. He sensed the pain coming. He could feel every
shard of pain that was now crawling up his spine, holding on for dear
life as it weaved itself through he's clothing, drowning in his skin.
He could feel the sharp, limp screams that the pain was releasing, he
could drown in the emotion that the pain was causing. Causing the
pain to bathe in hallucinated blood. Blood that stained. The blood
wasn't real. His head was spinning, as every single thin crisp page
that fell lightly into place in the book was like a dagger being
plunged into his skin. So razor sharp but yet so translucent. The
dagger wasn't real. As Noah reached for his pillow that was laying
limp on his bed he let out a scream. A scream so distant, yet so
familiar. His long fingers seized the white pillow at the corners and
dragged it down over on top of his head. Blocking out the noise of
silence from outside. Keeping in the noise that was pounding inside
his head. Sweat beads slowly slid of his forehead and with every
plunge that went into his skin, made his skin swell with pain,
mentally but left it untouched, physically. It wasn't slowing down,
nor easing of. Instead the pain pierced his heart with one soft
touch. His eyes slowly drifted away, leaving his pupils just staring
into his pain. Trapped in whispers and agony. Noah froze. His lips
started to slowly twitch, his upper lip freckled in sweat. The
movement in his mouth started to make silent groans. He was choking,
choking on his own words. When he finally battled with his lungs
small gasps came out. Hoarse and unclear. His pain started to hammer
down onto his chest. He could feel every thump that the agony caused.
He could feel it like it was his own. Like it was his own pain. But
it wasn't. The pain wasn't his. He was experiencing it...yes. But he
was experiencing it mentally. Inside his head. His hands reached out
to the floor, stabbing his nails into the deep brown wooden floor.
His fingers franticly pierced the floor scratching out unfamiliar
lines...the lines turned into letters. His deep blue eyes slowly
looked at the letters he had unwillingly created with his fingers.
His dark chestnut brown hair stood on end, dampened in sweat. His
rough jaw line slowly moved side to side as his teeth gritted, his
teeth clenched together so forcefully that his teeth nearly filed
down into his gums. Nearly. His screams hung limp in the air and he
fought with his eyes, willing them to stay open. When he finally gave
into them his long black lashes slowly fluttered together leaving
only slits in his eyelids where his blue pupils beamed through. His
ears were blocked with whispers and the sound of heavy iron doors
continuously slamming shut together. He felt as if he would go
temporarily death if this didn't wear of soon. His hands shook
wildly, his fists clenched together so tightly his inside of his
palms started to bleed. Real blood. Though he was choking on his
words, unable to talk his long fingers had spelled out five words.
Five
words that meant nothing to him. “GET THEM OUT OF HERE”.
End Of Opening
I chose to write this opening as right at the end of the book the second main character Noah; confesses to Mara that he saw her coming in his mind and felt her pain. He admitted that this had happened twice before Mara but with 2 different people, the other two people were also in pain and he tried to help them but he couldn't heal neither and the both died, so he did not meet them but on the third time he told Mara he could hear her voice shout “get them out of here” and then a couple of weeks late he met her at school when she joined and recognised her voice instantly. I slightly altered the way the opening was told. Though I didn't change the genre and stuck to the relative description and range of vocabulary that Michelle Hodkin's uses to tell the story I changed the writing from the first person to the 3rd person as usually Mara tells the story from her own perspective.
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