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Tuesday 9 October 2012

Redie Ware Hood-opening-IMPROVED

My name is Redie. My other name is Hood. This is my story. My fateul night in the woods.

I never really knew my mum or dad. I was adopted when I was a baby. They found me in the woods. My adopted mum calls me her angel. Sent down from Heaven apparently. Even if I were. I'm back up there now.

It was a thursday...no...Friday evening and I was on my way to my grandma's house. She was ill and my mum had sent me to her house with a basket of cakes, Grandma's house was a twenty minute walk through the woods. I'd walked there lots of times before on my own. I'd never once trailed of the path. But this time I did and I can't turn back time now. Not after what's happened.

It was dark and wet. It had been raining fir days. A storm was brewing. The clouds were like charcoal and the air was bitter, sprinting down you throat, hammering on your lungs oredering you to cough it back up so it can be freed back into the wild again like a wild animal. I'd been walking through the woods for about ten minutes and I was soaked through. My red coat ruined. The trees were rustling, twigs and leaves carpeted the path that was meant to lead me to safety. There were hundreds of trees all shading the tiniest bit of light that was trying to break through. My dark hair was soaked and hanging limply by my waist. My pale hands wore Goosebumps for gloves. My eyes were shining, bigger than the moon.

 It was late and I’d lost my way. It was midnight. It felt like I’d been walking for days. I would never find my way home. I knew I would turn into my other form. My real form. All in a matter of minutes…

3 comments:

  1. I like this. It is a good start and an interesting twist on the idea. One a side note: The red is hard to read against this background. I do like the color, just hard to see. I would suggest going to design and background and maybe adding a black or dark image that will make the red stand out more. Aside from that, it looks like a great start, I like the detail put into the story.

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    1. Thank you, i cahnged the clolur ;) my computer was playing up but i read your poem-the one with 3 verses, i really liked it...I especially found the way you used the 'snares' line was very thoughtful. I t made me feet that the writer was trying to escape the reaches of something trying to catch them.

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    2. sorry, my spelling is apualling in that reply, as i said my comp uter keeps freezingg and playing u p.

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