"We play in the woods now. It's not better, it's not worse and we most definatley aren't free but we've escaped from the physical nightmares but trapped in the mental. Life is painful when your trapped in this vicious circle. Is there such a thing as eternal life after death? No. Because your not alive. The pain has still got a firm grip on our shoulders. But sometimes, when the light is on our faces, our dimples rise a little, clenching our cheeks, begging not to dissapear. But they do, they still will. Life will get better. If only it were life."
number 2
"I see a lady, she goes really crazy, when she catches sight of you or I,
her long nails, they're missing and her gums always bleed,
she's frozen in a wheelchair, fed by a lead,
but if you look really closely her pupils have deceased"
"That silly childhood rhyme, it finally has a meaning. I'm not sure how long I can keep this up. Staring at this concrete slab on the ground. I know I'm not imagining it. I know I'm about to break. I know my worlds stopped spinning.Literally."
What opening is better? Please let me know as its for a new story I'm writing.
I like the first one. I think the detail in the first paragraph provides a better setting and beginning. Powerful imagery can be a great way to strike interest.
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